Lightning Southern Hockey Update

Yay! A new post! This is what you just said. And it was aloud. How embarrassing! However, I must warn you; the update is low on content, humor, and as always - sodium glucose. This is par for the course, unfortunately. That’s because I put this little blog up all by my big-boy self and I only learned myself enough about HTML to write some non-sequiturs about the Lightning, and poke fun at Tim Taylor. Then I put my brain back on a constant diet of malted hops. Seriously, I made this website with the internet equivalent of a bunch of pipe cleaners, hot glue gun, cotton balls, and tongue depressors. It’s not pretty, but I think the most important thing about it is that you, the benefactor, realize the thought and creativity that goes into this, this home-made PRESENT I make for you.

Also, while writing this blog I have that intense look on my face that denotes literary genius, and/or multiple bran muffins. But, the pure truth of the matter is if I don’t come up with an idea for a story to blog within 1.6 seconds after starting the thinking process; my eyes glaze over and I begin thinking about swimming pools, kittens, and monster trucks. So, even though I have the look of a literary genius, delving into the depths of mind-blowing existential theory, really I’m just thinking about “grave digger” smashing some old cars with their windshields removed and radio antennas bent down.

But don’t worry dear reader/admirer/probation officer. I’m not done. As soon as I figure out how to make one of those cool, multi-colored, flashing banners with audio that embarrass you because now all your co-workers know you aren’t working; this blog will take off out of the blogosphere, and accelerate into blog speed, and blog blog blog.

Was this originally going somewhere? Was I trying to tell you something earlier? Are you even still reading? Yes? Am I going to keep answering my own questions? Yes.