Titillating Title

Today, as I ambled into work and gave my customary mid-morning prayer for the ability to fly, I felt something was wrong. Very wrong. Then, I realized my zipper was down, and I had already been warned about this at work. But then, right after that, I noticed that something was different. Turns out my chair was set at a different height by the late night cleaning crew. So after sitting down, and flipping on the radio, my heart stopped – Justin Timberlake has a new song on, and it’s my new jam. And that’s pretty much how my day started out. Yup. Pretty typical, including the zipper down thing, which I am going to have to remedy with a safety pin.

Oh, and the Lightning were sold to a new ownership group.

Wait, What? Did you just hear read me right? That’s right. The bolts were sold for an undisclosed amount of money. And if I had taken any journalistic classes, I’d have known to include that fact in the first paragraph of this blog. But I didn’t, and neither did you. That fake Pulitzer isn’t fooling anyone.

“So what does this all mean?” My mom says to me when she reads my blog, as my ramblings seem to have no coherent value. Well, it means that the future of the Lightning is less clear than it was yesterday. Is this a good or a bad thing? Well, that is what we will have to wait and see. Or, instead we can speculate wildly. I chose the latter.

Situation A – This is a good thing:

This situation is very optimistic. The Lightning have had a very mediocre summer. They had no money to spend, and no substance past the first line and Brad Richards. Alternately, we’re not Buffalo so we got that going for us. With the general lack of movement for two off seasons in a row, it’s obvious to just about everyone that the Feaster has had his hands tied for some time now. This is bad, as first round playoff exits are only a dream if you’re in Toronto. So, now with a new ownership, maybe some moves can be made to elevate the team that everyone knows cannot be made better with the current farm system.

Situation B – This is a bad thing:

Bill Davidson may look like the crypt keeper from “Tales from the Dark Side,” and he may be located in Detroit, but he did own a team that won the cup. He may not have given us the maximum cap, but he did let us sign several high-end free agents over his tenure. And he may or may not smell like moth balls, but he did fly down here once, seriously I saw him on T.V. What have these new guys done? Nothing that’s what. And they may continue doing nothing right up until they; move the team, escalate ticket prices, and punch pregnant mothers in the stomach.

Situation C – Status Quo, let’s go get a sandwich:

This is the “it doesn’t matter who owns the kiddies, they have no money and there are no talented goalies/forwards/capable defenseman on the market anyway. Let’s plan a trip to Montreal in Mid-April to visit Vinny.” Which is a long name, especially when I am not paid per word for this Blog - or at all for that matter. Now I’m hungry.